Susan Hyatt

Susan Hyatt in the Green Room (with lucky charms*)

Posted on 26. Aug, 2010 by Susan in Blog

Interview done in the Green Room by Briana Aldrich, to find out more about her, click here.  To read more from her blog, click here.

Creating Your Own Luck: A Personal Tale of Hope

Posted on 25. Jun, 2010 by Susan in Blog, Luck

As coaches we strive to be “TAO” (transparent, authentic, and open) in all that we do. So let’s just lay it all out on the table.  I am here to admit that when I heard about Susan Hyatt’s forthcoming book on “Creating Your Own Luck”, I thought the idea was romantic.  I thought it was sweet. Create your own luck?  I thought it wasn’t possible.

I adore Susan. She is one of the luckiest people I know. The authenticity oozes from her every pore.  She has a naturally great life. She is the girl I wanted to be best friends with in high school but was too filled with angst, self-doubt, and longing to ever conceive of becoming a part of her circle.  And yet, here I am. I consider Susan a friend and a mentor. I now even consider myself part of her circle. How did a girl like me ever manage to make that happen? This thought truly gave me pause.

Let’s examine:

I was born in a shack down by the river. OK. Not really. I was born to a middle-class family in Western Pennsylvania. My family adored me. I was the youngest by several years, and while my parents were separated when I was born, I never wavered in the belief I was totally awesome. I had a lot of confidence.  I want to be clear (without making this a novella) that I didn’t have what may be considered a “normal” upbringing, but honestly I thought it was cool that I had such an unusual family dynamic. I thought I was lucky.

On the other hand, my mother was restless. She wanted more for herself. She wanted to travel and live a life she felt she deserved but that society had told her wasn’t acceptable for a responsible mother. She wanted to move to Maine, to travel to Europe, to feel free and able to experience her life. With her two oldest out of the house, she sold our home, booked us flights to Europe, and we were off. She made it happen. All by herself. Boy did she feel lucky during that time.

So we lived her dream. But then things started going wrong. She had no friends in Maine. She wasn’t able to get a job, even though she had a Master’s degree in Human Resource Management. The checks bounced. The dream died. We fled from Maine quite literally in the middle of the night 4 years later.

How could following your dream turn out so badly? She was running out of money and was scared. She had lived a life up to that point filled with judgments against frivolous, spendthrift women who make foolish decisions to get pregnant at 17, spend too much money on books, irresponsibly sell their perfectly-adequate homes and embark on a foolish journey. As she got desperate, she began to dip back into those old stories and believe them. She began manifesting what she felt. She lost her mojo.

When we first moved to Maine, I was my usual confident self. But as my mother lost hope in her new life, I compulsively overate. I fed off my mother’s new, grasping energy and it scared me. I had never seen her like this, crying and weak. I was terrified. I truly began to believe we were unlucky.

In the interest of space and time, let’s just that I became so fixated on needing external circumstances to create my happiness that I gained a lot of weight, became very isolated from my peers emotionally, fell into a deep depression, and had my worst fear realized at 17 when my mother died from breast cancer.

I sleepwalked through the next several years of my existence, unsure of how I got to such a deep place of disconnection from that confident little girl.  While lots of good things happened during this time, I could only focus on the negative (I called myself a “realist”, which is really just a polite word for “pessimist”). My life was just moving along, happening to me.  I was hollow.

Gentle reader – remember this is a tale of hope because sixteen years later I am happier and more connected with my essential self than ever before. I am on my path towards my right life after years of believing I would never, ever, ever, ever find it. I am in the process of building my own coaching practice. My own business. I am leveraging my years of toiling away at the “wrong career” to help people find their own best life. I am more confident, excited and hopeful than ever before. I feel lucky again!

At this point I imagine you wish I’d just tell you how I got to this place and  reconnected with my luck.

I asked myself this very question as I was e-mailing with two Master Coaches who were working me through lingering fears from old belief systems. I felt so fortunate to have access to such talented minds and to have them speak so frankly and warmly with me. I practically had to pinch myself. How was this happening to ME?

And then it hit me. Susan Hyatt was right. I created this luck. All by myself.

You can guess now what happened, right? I began happening to my life. I showed up for myself for the first time in a long time. I took a few smart, calculated risks and flew in the face of all the things my dad had taught me. I listened to what I wanted for myself not what he wanted for me. And I refused to believe that I deserved anything “less than”, in spite of what Sweet Petunia, my Inner Lizard, had to say.

I did all my work and figured out what I really wanted my life to feel like. Once I started coming from such a real place, magic started happening.  I found my tribe. I gained access to people as smart, intuitive, and energized as I am. And if I live my life backwards for a moment, none of this would have happened if my mom hadn’t taken that first leap towards her dreams. She modeled what it would take to have both a good outcome and a bad outcome in life.

So now I not only feel lucky to count Susan as a friend, I know that she is lucky to have me. And for the first time in a very long time, I actually believe it. I still have a ways to go, but I can’t tell you how incredible it feels to know you are finally pointed in the right direction.

That’s right. I can’t tell you. You have to go figure it out for yourself.

Just know that we’re here to help you create your own luck.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jessica Steward is a Personal and Professional Life Coach and owner of Steward Coaching. With 15 years of experience in the corporate world, Jessica combines her practical, business experience with a passion for helping people to begin happening to their own lives. With a direct and intuitive approach, she helps her clients reconnect with their authentic selves, banish painful beliefs, turn their seed of an idea into an actionable plan, and everything in between. She lives in Boston with her husband, her dog, two cats, and two ukuleles. The cats cannot play the ukuleles. Yet. Contact: jessica@stewardcoaching.com

Be Your Own Statue of Liberty

Posted on 07. Apr, 2010 by Susan in Inspiration

I was lucky enough to plan and spend Spring Break vacation in New York City with my family. (Say it with me using the Southern accent from the old Pace Thick N Chunky salsa commercial. Remember that one? Of course.) The trip experiences reminded me of the Anais Nin quote, “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Lately, all I see is a gift. And, by gift, I’m including but not really meaning, my giant new purse I bought the day before the trip to haul around maps, sunglasses, water bottles and other vacation necessities like four shades of lip gloss. I digress.

When I walked through the doors of Ellis Island and imagined my ancestors pulling their trunks across that very floor, I cried. How far they travelled, how far I’ve come.

I cried when I saw the Statue of Liberty from the ferry. How many immigrants looked to her as the physical sign that their new life was possible? The relief that one feels when we believe all is possible. Now.

The Broadway musical Wicked was amazing. I cried watching the talent, creativity and unparalleled magic present on that stage. Defying Gravity. I cried some more when as I watched my daughter scoot forward in her seat, eyes wide, jaw dropped in complete wonder.

So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
“Ev’ryone deserves the chance to fly!”
And if I’m flying solo
At least I’m flying free
To those who’d ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity

I soaked up seven days walking the streets of a city built by immigrants from every country. All striking out to create their way. I could feel their bootstrapping spirit driving the pulse of the city, “It’s all possible. Come on. Let’s go.”

Because I have been diagnosed with Wanderlust, and plenty of other things that we shall not discuss here, I tried to convince my family to relocate to NYC. Since that went over about as well as Ryan’s suggestion that we breed ferrets and have our very own Ferret Nation in the basement, I decided to bring NYC home with me.

1. Remember Your Ellis Island

We’ve all come all a long way. Instead of using the negative circumstances in your past as reasons for your misery, pat yourself on the back for living through them. What have you overcome? You are not a victim or a survivor. You are something more than that. A creator. A thriver. An architect of your life. Look at your amazing life story. Remember where you were, and how far you have come. Wow.

2. Be Your Own Statue of Liberty

Symbols of hope are nice for reflection, but nothing beats creating your own conviction. What are you a symbol of? What do you stand for? What are you reflecting to others? For example, if I had one thing to say to my tribe, it would be this:

You can create whatever you want, and it’s all possible.

What would you say?

3. Create Wicked Inspiration

There’s nothing that keeps the fire and passion for life flaming like creative inspiration. We can lose our zest when we forget to play. Create your own Inspiration Junction with this free worksheet. Get inspired. Stay laughing.

And, if you want to sing along with me, go to iTunes and download Defying Gravity here and rock it out. I can’t wait to hear what you create.

Change Your Luck (Part 4)

Posted on 17. Mar, 2010 by Susan in Luck

Click on the image above to view Part 4 of Susan’s series “Create Your Own Luck”.

Create Your Own Luck (Part 3)

Posted on 17. Mar, 2010 by Susan in Luck

Click on the image above to view Part 3 of Susan’s series “Create Your Own Luck”.

Create Your Own Luck (Part 2)

Posted on 16. Mar, 2010 by Susan in Luck

Click on the image above to view Part 2 of Susan’s series “Create Your Own Luck”.

Create Your Own Luck (Part 1)

Posted on 16. Mar, 2010 by Susan in Luck

Click on the image above to view Part 1 of Susan’s series “Create Your Own Luck”.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Posted on 07. Dec, 2009 by Susan in Inspiration

Step away from the Black Friday and Cyber Monday super saver sales. What do you really want this holiday season? Super cool brown clover boots from Anthropologie aside, what do you crave? What feeling state are you hoping to get from what you want?  

Almost everyone claims happiness, connection, love, peace. Okay, I get that you want the boots too, but stay with me here for a minute. Because, as much as you want those boots, you aren’t going to get the deeper things that you really want from them (even the clover ones).

Working with hundreds of clients to help them manage the holidays, it’s comical what we get wrapped up in, sometimes literally, during the holidays.  The decorating, cooking, eating, mailing, shopping, partying, baking, wrapping, stamping, color coordinating hysteria. These are all fine things to do as long as it feels happy while you are doing them. As long as you aren’t crying while you wrap that 500th gift to someone you barely know. As long as you aren’t eating when you aren’t hungry to stuff down disappointment. As long as you aren’t baking with bitterness. (Bitter baking just sucks.)

During this season, notice yourself. Notice if you are feeling tired or cranky. Notice if you are doing things that you do not want to do. Notice if you would rather just get it all over with. And, then, ask yourself WHY?. Listen for the answer.

And then, ask yourself how you can better create what you are really after:  connection, happiness, peace, joy. What could you stop doing? What could you think? What would feel more like love and peace and joy than what you are currently thinking and doing?

My biggest hope for you is that you are living your life as a thank you. A big, loud, jingle jangle THANK YOU. Palms up, smiling, embracing your life.

And maybe also wearing those Clover boots.

Make Your Own Luck Part 2

Posted on 15. Mar, 2009 by Susan in Luck

What do a recent concussion, losing power at the house for four days, a car accident, losing my voice, and many other minor happenings have in common?  A really lucky person.  I recently blogged about the research of luck, and how to get lucky yourself.  Soon after, I slipped and hit my head so hard on a car door mirror, that I had a concussion.  A client emailed me and asked when the locusts were coming.  I laughed.  This is no Book of Job.

What’s funny is that if you look at the past six months, I’ve had quite a few inconveniences.  But I am still lucky.  I feel lucky.  And, more interestingly, I realize that many people would use those same life circumstances to have a pity party, and claim that they are UNLUCKY.  Just take the concussion for example:  Did I love the fact that I had a goose egg on my head, was so exhausted that I had to clear my coaching schedule for a week, and was forced to actually rest?  No.

But I took that smack on the head very metaphorically.  I should rest more.  I move so fast that sometimes I don’t notice where I am going.  I got the message.  It was actually the best thing that could have happened for me to reconnect with myself and self-care.

Notice what I just did?  I retold my past in a way that was empowering for me, instead of wallowing in self-pity ick.  Self-care or self-pity?  Your choice.   And, now, your turn.

Here’s how to turn your ancient history into a good luck charm:

1.    Think about a life circumstance that was unwanted and painful.

2.    How was that circumstance PERFECT for you at the time?

3.    How does that experience and knowledge help you now?

4.    What did that eventually lead to that is good and right in your life?

From this place of empowerment in the present moment, you can let your past off the hook, and create a future filled with luck.  It’s not just for the Irish. Happy St. Patty’s Day.